(copyright kkearney, yuh)
Dina the Diner Waitress
Dina is a waitress at Suburban Diner. She used to work at the Stardust Diner in New York when she wanted to be a star one day, but now leads more of a normal life working at Suburban. She gets pissed off by the people who come in sometimes though. New Yorker accent.
D: Everyday I question why I hadn’t stayed at Stardust. Every day was just a burst of energy, I had a lust for life in the city. It just got too expensive living there, so now I’m stuck on route 17 serving the teen supreme day and night. I’m getting really ticked off. Sometimes people just gotta know when to lay off. You know, I was having a real bad day last week, right, and for some reason, Marty, one of my co-workers, decided “hey I’m just gonna be a dick-wad and not serve this group of not five, not ten, but twenty-five teeny boppers. Leave em to me right! “Chocolate chip pancakes, disco fries, cheeseburger no tomato, MY ASS.” Order something better for size. The amount of variety in that order was disgraceful and the attitude of each kid there, DISTASTEFUL.
I am fed up. There was another guy last week, name’s Michael. He’s a local, comes in once every two weeks for a year now. Orders the same thing, not a difficult order-- a bowl of French onion soup and decaf coffee. I am usually the one to serve him so when I saw him sit down, I thought “HEY, wouldn’t it be nice if I brought out his meal without him even ordering.” So I went in the kitchen, recited the order, waited, and when I got it, I brought the soup and coffee right out to him. “Oh,” he says and looks at me with this somber look across his face. “I was going to change it up today.” “OH,” I said to him.
But ya know what, now that I think about it, I gotta change it up just like Michael did. I want to work at Stardust again. I’ve been practicing some songs from Chicago down and my voice is just so Velma Kelly. I’m just gonna do it. I’m gonna change my life.
Ideal setting for monologue. Photo from Millerton, NY (2017).